


you love me after all. (taejin heavy angst)

by lqtaejin



Category: bts taejin, taejin - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Angsty Kim Taehyung | V, Bottom Kim Taehyung | V, Dead Kim Taehyung | V, Depressed Kim Seokjin | Jin, Depressed Kim Taehyung | V, Drama & Romance, Dramatic Kim Taehyung | V, Heavy Angst, Hurt Kim Taehyung | V, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V Angst, Kim Taehyung | V is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Sad Ending, Sad Kim Taehyung | V, Sub Kim Taehyung | V, Suicidal Kim Taehyung | V, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Top Kim Seokjin | Jin, Tragedy, very sad, vjin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:27:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28973559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lqtaejin/pseuds/lqtaejin
Summary: taehyung notices that his lover, seokjin looks at jungkook with different eyes.life has no meaning without seokjin.life doesn’t exist without seokjin.living without him is impossible for taehyung, he makes a decision.(dramatic af  taejin angst.)(TW!: suicide, blood, death)
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok/Kim Namjoon/Kim Seokjin/Kim Taehyung/Min Yoongi/Park Jimin, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Kim Seokjin | Jin/Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Taehyung | V/Min Yoongi | Suga
Comments: 11
Kudos: 55





	you love me after all. (taejin heavy angst)

taehyung sat on the floor, tears streaming down his face. the memory of jin hugging and spinning jungkook in his arms was like a  
loop in taehyung’s mind. he noticed jin and jungkook’s closeness few months ago but they got closer and closer each day. for sure, they knew eachother for 8 years now, for sure they were best friends but this couple of months was different. taehyung was not stupid, he could notice the way jungkook looked at jin. sometimes jin would look at jungkook the same way and it killed him. he spoke about it with jin two weeks ago.  
-“tae what the fuck! how can you even say that? did you lost your mind?!”-jin was furious when tae brought it up, they have been dating for four years now, how could taehyung think that jin would fall for another?  
-“i haven’t. i just see the way things are hyung.” -taehyung said in a low voice, not even looking up to face his lover.  
-“you know that’s absurd taehyung. you know it. are you trying to find some stupid reasons to fight with me? are you?”  
taehyung shivered, jin’s tone was too harsh, he was already holding back his tears.  
-“n..no..”  
-“what the fuck do you want then?!”-jin shouted and it made taehyung to face him. jin was clenching his teeth.  
-“i... i want to know the truth. im not stupid hyung. i see the way you look at eachother. i know that you went out to the movies the other day. you didn’t even invite me. do i look stupid to you?”-taehyung also raised his voice, tear rolled down to his cheek.  
-“so you don’t trust me? all this years was nothing to you? i never gained or deserved your trust? is that it taehyung? my words when i promised that it would be you and me till the end of time, it meant nothing to you right? okay i get it.”-jin was shaking with anger now.  
-w-what? i never said that i don’t trust you! i never said that!”taehyung shouted -“i do! i do trust you! those words mean the world to me hyung! it’s just ... it’s not about the trust! i just see the way you are falling for another boy!”  
jin shook his head and stood silent for a moment.  
-“i think we need a break.”-he said in a low voice.  
-“w-what did you just say?”-taehyung stuttered in shock, this has never happened before.  
jin looked up and looked straight in taehyung’s teary eyes.  
“i said- we need a break. you need to think about everything and so do i. if you don’t trust me then what’s the point tae? i think we really need this break. think about what you said to me today. think about if you trust me or not and then we will talk about this. i’ll stay at namjoons.”- seokjin said and left the house without letting taehyung speak.  
taehyung stood there in silence, he was shocked. for this years they never went on a break. seokjin never left. they have had arguments before but they would make up the next day and now he left.  
taehyung curled up on the floor and cried until there was no tears left to cry. he called seokjin but he declined the call.  
“hyung! just come home! im sorry! i was wrong! just come home okay?”  
he sent a text to seokjin, his hands were shaking. seokjin didn’t answer.  
a week passed and still no words from seokjin. taehyung cried to sleep every night. taehyung drank every evening, drank until he ended up throwing up. he kept texting seokjin- begging him to come home, that he was wrong, but he seokjin never came.  
they had practice this day and taehyung hoped that they would make up. he would even drop to his knees and beg if he needed to.  
taehyung couldn’t concentrate, he only looked at seokjin who looked as angry as before. seokjin didn’t even glance at taehyung. he didn’t even say hello, like taehyung never even existed. taehyung felt sharp pain in his abdomen, like someone stabbed him with a sword.  
after practice taehyung went up to seokjin and placed his hand on jin’s shoulder.  
“h-hyung... let’s talk...okay?”-taehyung mumbled.  
“not today taehyung.” jin said coldly and moved away from him. taehyung’s eyes filled with tears once again.  
that evening, he went out with yoongi at the bar, few hours later he was a drunk mess and couldn’t stop crying.  
-“tae, calm down will you?”-yoongi said with a concerned voice, placing his hand on younger’s arm.  
-“h-hyung he won’t talk to me. h-he won’t even look at me hyung!-taehyung sniffled  
-“i think you really hurt him taehyung. if hoseok ever said that he doesn’t trust me i would react the same...”  
-“i never said that!”-taehyung shouted and few people turned around to look at him-“hyung i never said that i dont trust him! i just-just i said that i see the way things are! don’t you notice it too hyung? the way jungkook and jin act?! and don’t lie to me!  
yoongi took a deep breath.  
-“to be honest tae... i do. i see that too but i really doubt that they feel something romantic towards each other. they are best friends tae. jin loves you. you know that he loves you more than anybody. give him some time, he will calm down and everything will be okay.”  
another week passed. still no word from seokjin.  
taehyung called seokjin every night but he never answered. taehyung was slowly losing his mind. his love for seokjin was something else. something magical. it has been 8 years now, he has loved him for 8 years and each day his love grew stronger. he waited for seokjin for 4 years to love him back and now he was losing him. he remembered the first time taehyung kissed his hyung in the ocean. he remembered when seokjin took his virginity and promised that it would be them till the end of time. he remembered how they wrote a song together. he remembered all the romantic dates. he remembered all the times they had made love, all the times jin tied him up, all the times jin left kisses and marks all over his stomach. all the times jin kissed and marked his chest. he remembered all the moments on the stage, the way everything and everyone would disappear when they were together. sharp pain in his abdomen became stronger and he couldn’t breathe. living without seokjin had no sense. just imagining seokjin with another man - with jungkook for example was killing taehyung.  
they had gathering in the dorm the next day, they had to film. maybe they would make up there.  
filming was hell for taehyung. jin said hello to him this time but he still looked hurt. he still looked angry. he didn’t said a word to him while they were filming, instead he took jungkook im his arms and spinned him, both laughing. yoongi and namjoon looked at taehyung instantly. taehyung was frozen, he couldn’t move. he didn’t care about the cameras, he didn’t care about anything anymore. jungkook was in jin’s arms. they were laughing. seokjin has moved on. seokjin was with ANOTHER MAN.  
taehyung got up from the couch and went to the bathroom. he collapsed on the floor and cried his heart out. the image of jungkook and jin was on loop.  
jin seemed so happy with jungkook.  
he seemed happy.  
he moved on.  
pain in his abdomen was unbearable now, it was like someone was gutting him.  
seokjin was laughing with jungkook and he looked at tae like he was disgusted. yeah, he should be disgusted. taehyung always wondered why seokjin even chose him. jungkook was perfect, he was even called golden maknae. he was everything and taehyung was nothing. everything made sense now. he looked around and saw bottles of pills, which were muscule relaxers and he had made a decision.  
___

jin sat down on the couch, exhausted from faking a smile for the camera, filming was finally over. he wanted to hug taehyung so much, he wanted to get back with him but something wouldn’t allow him. he was hurt. he has never been this hurt before. hearing that someone you love the most doesn’t trust you is the worst kind of pain.  
he noticed that taehyung wasn’t there anymore. something felt off.  
-“uh, where did taehyung go?”-he asked, searching for his lover with his eyes.  
-“to the bathroom i think.”-hoseok answered and seokjin got the text taehyung has sent him.

“hyung, im so sorry. im sorry for everything. i know that i disgust you. and if i’m so disgusting and if you don’t need me anymore then what’s the point right? if im so disgusting i won’t bother you anymore jinnie. im so sorry. im sorry that i wasted your time. i love you so much hyung, i can’t handle this pain anymore.” 

his eyes widened, sweat covered his forehead and his vision got blurry. he knew what taehyung meant with this message. no. no. no. no. no. no. there was no way. no way this was real.  
seokjin sprinted from the couch and literally flew to the bathroom. the door was locked, tears were already blinding seokjin as he banged on the door. there was no answer.  
-“OPEN UP! OPEN UP RIGHT NOW! TAEHYUNG IM NOT FUCKING KIDDING OPEN UP!” seokjin shouted and kept banging on the door, then started to kick the door with his legs.-“OPEN THE FUCK UP! OPEN-THE-DOOR! LET ME IN!” he screamed in terror and with final kick he managed to break the door. he froze.  
mirror was broken, muscule relaxer bottles were on the floor, all empty and taehyung was laying on the floor, panting hard, both of his wrists were cut so deeply that there was a river of blood spilling from his wrists and seokjin felt like his world was ending.  
-NO! NO NO NO NO NO! GOD NO!-seokjin screamed, sprinted to taehyung as he dropped on his knees and took taehyung in his arms-HELP ME! HELP! PLEASE SOMEBODY! - seokjin sobbed like a mad man and pressed his hand on his cuts. he didn’t even notice that others were already there, yoongi was making a 911 call, namjoon was also kneeling infront of them but it didn’t matter. nothing and no one mattered besides taehyung. his taehyung.  
-what did you do! what did you do! why! why did you do this to me! why!-seokjin sobbed and forced his two fingers down to taehyung’s throat, trying to make taehyung throw up, nothing was coming first as taehyung just gagged, pills seemed to already dissolved in his system,” he took them some time ago, before he event sent me the message.” seokjin thought to himself. he still managed to make taehyung throw up, but not enough. not even close to enough.  
-im..im..im s-s-sorry hyung... i...  
-shhh... shhh.. it’s okay! it’s okay! don’t speak, just breathe baby! breathe!-seokjin mumbled, he saw that namjoon was pressing towels on taehyung’s wounds. there was so much blood it made seokjin’s head spin.  
-d-don’t blame yourself...hyung...-taehyung managed to say in between pants. his eyes were getting heavy.  
-shhh.. i said don’t speak! shut up! just breathe for me baby! stay awake for me!-seokjin grabbed taehyung’s face-“baby look at me! don’t close your eyes! hey! look at me taehyung!”-he was screaming desperately at taehyung. taehyung looked at jin, he was getting much paler, his vision was now blurry and black dots were dancing in the air but he could see seokjin clearly. only him. his tortured face howering over him and taehyung wondered if anyone was out there in this world who was as beautiful as seokjin. his tears were landing on taehyung’s face, he was sobbing but he still looked like an angel. he managed to smile at the older. seokjin sobbed and kissed taehyung’s forehead strongly.  
taehyung coughed hard and made choking sound, it made jin panick. -“ No no no no baby no! no! you are okay! it’s not that bad! not that bad at all! ambulance will come soon and they will fix you in no time! i swear! we will go home! we will! please just stay with me okay? breathe baby! just breathe! you are okay! “ jin was talking to himself now, he was reassuring himself that taehyung was okay but deep down he know that he was wrong, oh so wrong. -“don’t do this to me baby... please... don’t. stay with me okay?”  
-y-you love... you love me after all...-taehyung said in a weak voice, struggling to stay awake, he was shutting off.  
-i never fucking stopped! i love you! only you! it will be you and me till the end of time remember? now fight for me and stay here with me! forever! baby please!-seokjin was about to lose all his sanity as taehyung suddenly breathed very fast and minute later, his eyes rolled and closed.  
-no... no... baby.. hey! hey baby! look at me! tae! taehyung! baby look at me!-Jin grabbed Tae’s face.  
-dont be like this... don’t do this to me baby! stop it! please... don’t you... hey.. don’t you fucking dare! im not fucking joking around! - there was no answer from Taehyung.  
Jin officially lost it. he hugged Taehyung hardly and screamed like there was no tomorrow. there was no tomorrow anymore. there was nothing left. nothing. his world ended. his life ended. everything ended. nothing mattered anymore.  
-“come back to me please baby! tae! please!”-jin choked on his own words.  
it was his fault. his fucking fault. he promised taehyung that he would never hurt him and look how everything ended. they got there too late. pills kicked in before he sent that message. he bled out because he got there too late.  
everything was gone, Taehyung was gone and he took everything with him. he was really gone. his lifeless cold body was still in Seokjin’s arms,eyes halfway shut, pale and lifeless. Seokjin still held him, if he would let go, he would die right there. he wouldn’t let go. he promised. he promised his Taehyung forever. he promised to stay always on his side. he promised to never let go. Jin rocked taehyung like a baby, kissed his forehead once again and placed plenty of kisses all over his face, lastly, jin kissed taehyung’s lips and his sweet taste that jin adored was gone. all jin could taste was blood and death.jin didn’t let go of taehyung till he was forcefully removed from him, jin’s painful blood freezing screeching filled the atmosphere.  
that evening seokjin arrived at their house, he was covered in taehyung’s blood. he was numb. he went straight to their room and took the pillow taehyung once laid his head on, he hugged the pillow and it smelled like taehyung.  
jin felt the smooth wooden floor beneath his knees, and then the palms of his hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of his cheek. he hoped that he was fainting, but to his disappointment, he didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at him before now reared high up and washed over his head, pulling seokjin under.

he did not resurface.

**Author's Note:**

> idk why i had this idea but i made myself cry. im just such a sucker for drama. ( i edited it and added few things in this story )


End file.
